No Wrong Time to Say the Right Thing

by Steve Goodier

A cartoon depicts a woman shaking hands with her clergyman as she leaves the church. The caption says, "Thank you for the sermon. It was like water to a drowning man." Some compliments are better left unsaid....
Isn't it true that words carry with them immense power? Power to build up and power to tear down. Such was the case with the words of Maude, a woman who learned that there is no wrong time to say the right thing.
It was a cold, rainy day in March. Across the room in the millinery department of the store where Maude worked, sat Laura, a woman about Maude's age. Other workers did not like Laura; they thought her to be snobbish and aloof. And Maude agreed.
But sweeping the bias from her eyes, she made up her mind to say something kind to Laura. Finally, she managed, "Do you know, Laura, that I've worked in this room with you for several years. And whenever I glance up I see your head silhouetted against the window there behind you. I think you have the prettiest profile and hair that I have ever seen on anybody." Her words were not insincere flattery. She meant it.
Laura looked up and began to cry. "That's the first kind word anybody has ever said to me in all the years I've worked here," she said.
Maude discovered that Laura's aloofness was not due to snobbishness, but shyness. The two became friends. Other workers soon began to include Laura in their activities, and she blossomed like a flower that, for the first time, found sunlight. The right words, spoken in kindness, changed a life.
Never underestimate the power of your words. There is no wrong time to say the right thing. And there is no better time than now.

GK Student Trip 2009: Lasting Imprints of Life's Lessons

June 28, 2009, a pretty typical Sunday for me at all cost. Humid weather, cozy sounds of the 50's, 60's and 70's, heck I can even hear Engelbert Humperdinck's "Lonely Table Just for One" resonate through my ears one last time before I boarded off the cab that I was in. I was so engrossed in the monotony of the afternoon that I was basically clueless to what Gawad Kalinga, or GK was all about. Yes, it's about building houses, and indeed it's just plain charity work for me, or a mere week-long escape from the fangs of my technical cases at work.

At the student's welcome lunch buffet at Max's, I was astounded by the speech given by Mr. Tony Meloto, founder and head of GK. He spoke as if poverty was not a mere curse millions of Filipinos are trying to get off with. I usually am not one who easily gets swayed by speakers who mastered the art of conveying sweet nothings into a whole grain of salt so to speak, but what he said that day left an imprint on me. I became an instant fan of the man, and an advocate of his beliefs and works, but not for GK...at least not yet.

We arrived at the site (GK TELUS, Pook Masagana) together with 25 Taiwanese students sponsored by our company Trend Micro. I was enamored with the surroundings. One can easily distinguish what has been, what it is now, and what the other houses will be once everything is laid out. I never imagined that if people will have the political and moral will to implement changes, anything, even those seemingly impossible ones, can be done. I marvel at how the "Kapitbahayan" worked, much less how they bond as one family, and how eager they are to welcome us, despite the oblivious confusion that they seem to be in; after all, this is their first time to host a delegation as many as we are, not to add the fact that most of us will be fully immersed into their lives for the entire week.

Physical work was not a new thing for me. I've been through house building a couple of times but never before had I enjoyed carrying bricks, shoveling sand, digging excavations, and painting steel rail posts as much as I did for the entire week. Our friends from Taiwan were exceptionally strong, specially the women, who despite their fragile frame displayed agility and strength one can typically see from men if not from athletes. Doing this blue-collar work made me realize that I am lucky not to be doing this kinds of stuff, at least not everyday, and most of all, as my sole source of income. I learned that ranting about how hard life is for us is not right, for there are countless people who suffer an even sadder fate than what most of us probably have been and will be into.

Being with the village people created an instant bond between the students and their foster families. This explains why the day when they had to leave to go to the other site was a tear jerker for most if not all of the people in the site. It's hard not to be glued to each other, for you share almost everything, even just for a couple of days. It showed me the human spirit and the indomitable Filipino hospitality at its finest. It further stressed the cliche' that life is indeed so short that you better make the most out of it before time runs out.

As the tickling sound of my cell phone's alarm came into a halt, I was flat out on my back wondering how fast the days have been spent without me even thinking and merely wishing the week finally comes into an end, as we often do whenever we get stressed out at work. I am proud to say that I did not cry as I was leaving the site. It's not because I was not moved by the moment or of what had transpired during my entire week stay in there. In fact, I had to hold back the tears a couple of times but I guess I was more than convinced that a smile would be better off as my lasting image for my dear friends in there rather than those unconventional tears.

Indeed, life is full of trickery and mystery. You'll never know what's the value of something until someone or something makes your realize it. Poverty is indeed a big problem, and it doesn't take a blink of an eye to change everything However, accepting it as a problem is not the right way to deal with it for as they say it in GK, "alleviation is not the answer but eradication"

Being content and thankful with what you have is not an aberration from pursuing higher goals and reaching loftier heights in one's career or family life. It's just the one of the better perspectives we can have, for not everyone is blessed with what we have. Lastly, as head back home, the enticing music of the Beatles rocked me. "Get back, get back, get back to where you once belong..", and I will surely be back, for being able to help other people is always heart-warming and uplifting, but the experience and the learning shouldn't end here, for there's a lot of lessons to uncover, a lot more lives to change, and a bounty of goodness to share.

Giving Up or Not Backing Down, When and Which

One uneventful Monday morning, I was greeted with some news that would definitely not make our nations headlines but somehow struck me with a pint of inexplicable sadness. It’s not everyday that you get to meet people you learn to trust and bond with, and learning about their not so accepted departure is but sudden and as Shakespeare put it "parting is such sweet sorrow".

Putting in my optimistic perspective is a must for these kinds of occasions, yet oftentimes in our life, we are dazed with the choices we have to make such as whether to give up to the challenges of everyday living, or to continue pressing your foot on the pedal and pursue the eventual happiness and contentment we so longed to have. The decision-making part is the tricky one as only history will be the judge as to whether the choices you made eventually made you a better person or more of a morbid loser.

I'm not one who gives up easily as I'm a strong advocate of keeping your head on the fight as long as you can. Challenges builds up character, character your confidence, and confidence your self-esteem and overall perspective in life. On big thing though that I learned that day is that sometimes, you also need to know what you're just capable of at the moment, and despite vehemently denying and begging to disagree on this premise, to a certain extent it is but factual and even more logical if you put in the inexplicable problems we normally tag along. Others may say that problems are but normal, it's just like the air we breathe, without it, and we became weak. On the other side of the coin, we may need to fail and give up to learn the valuable lessons on how to overcome it the next time it happens, after all what goes around comes around.

Nonetheless, I just hope that whatever decisions we make, we made it because we're at peace with it and that we're happy with it. Pleasing other people is a cardinal sin for life-altering decisions. It should not be the feather that tips the scales to their favor. Instead, it should be whatever that makes you happy and content that should prevail. To part with, we may never want others to leave because we've grown so accustomed to their presence, but keeping them when they want to let go is just being plain selfish. We never want them to give up, but at the end of the day, they will be the ones who have the choices to make. After all, it's not about giving up or never backing down, it's what you do after it that matters...

Top 3 Things That Annoys The Blogger

Have you ever wondered what could be the top three things people should not be doing because it annoys the public? I never used to be the type of person who has a "short fuse " so to speak when it comes to these kind of things, but judging from my own experiences, I think most people will find the things on this list funny yet eerily factual as it happens in their everyday lives. With no further delay, here's the top three things that annoys the blogger...


3. When you're in a gym, your goal is to break some sweat and be refreshed. If you're enrolled into a gym that's supposedly serving the upper echelons of our society, you expect nothing less but the best. Unfortunately, there are a bunch of people who go to the gym just to chat about senseless things. They occupy the A-bench, they swamp the areas where you do the bench press, you cannot even use your preferred weights simply because they're holding on to it while gleefully chatting with one another. Makes me wonder if fitness clubs nowadays should out up a chat-me-here kiosk...


2. There are certain occasions when you are in a hurry; either getting late for a lunch meeting, or possibly eager to catch a ride back home. It really gets the better of me whenever you stand up waiting for the elevator for a couple of minutes and spend an even longer time waiting for your co-passenger's colleagues to get in the elevator. I know people can be somewhat insensitive at times, but at the elevator? And at the expense of people who are virtually strangers? Makes me think of provisioning waiting sheds beside elevators just for their welfare...


1. There are a few people who exists and unfortunately has quite an abnormal sense of energy to disseminate unspecified volumes of unwanted information. It's perfectly fine for us to reason out, get the urge to explain when prompted to do so, and deliver information as needed. But what's unconventionally unacceptable is having a 5 minute answer for a simple inquiry that requires the unequivocal answer of either a YES or a NO. You simply can't stop them not for fear that they might get embarrassed, but more so because you believe that it's their own claim to 5 minutes of fame....

I apologize first hand for those who got swept off their feet for whatever reason, and mostly to those fortunate enough to have the time to read this blog and end up having "bloody shirts" because they can relate, not to my dissension but to the behaviors that they themselves manifest.

Picture of Life in the Window of Death

It's been quite a while since I posted my last blog. Back then, it was all about trying to get into shape and looking good in the eyes of others. One thing that I totally overlooked at that point was to have a logical purpose in doing what I need to do, which was to gain a healthy lifestyle. This practically never became more apparent up until last February 20.

In the middle of that fateful February 19 night, a text message from my wife's mom informed us of the sad state my father-in-law was in. I wouldn't go much into the details of the problem but the bottomline is that he did die the following day. It was a sad day, but being the optimist that I am, I found a couple of things worth pondering which I or the rest of those who reads these may find useful.

One thing is that you'll never appreciate life up until you start losing grasp of it. Most of us whine about our difficulties, either financial, psychological or emotional, during our stay here on Earth. Some even had the guts to give up and stop rowing through the rivers of delusion and heartaches. Nobody seems to understand that we are given these things because He knows we can carry the load. Lesson learned here is that we must accept the fact that life is full of hardships and pain, but that's exactly what makes it beautiful, it's not boring or monotonous, but rather full of struggle that challenges man to gain success and happiness.

Another key thing worth noting is the sad reality that people will talk about all of the good things you've done just when you're gone and unable to hear all of it. I don't know if it does any good to those left behind, but I find it funny, illogical, and a masterpiece of sarcasm. Saying good things and remembering the good deeds of the dead is not bad, it's just that it builds hype at the most uncompelling situation. Why not let people know of their good acts and even the bad ones while they're alive and able to hear it. Simple as it may seem, it brings a ton of joy and contentment to anyone who hears a compliment, it's some sort of achievement knowing somebody was happy with what you just did. Letting them know about their bad acts are good as well for they'll never grow and improve as a person without learning of their faults from others who don't share the same perspective that we have.

Lastly, let not it happen to anyone, that they learn these tidbits of wisdom just at the time when they can only see the picture of life through the windows of death.

Dilemma of a first-time fat guy

This is the hardest admission that I have to make for the entire time I have set foot on Earth. No, I'm not a galactic traveler but wished I could be so as to burn those excess fats. For most people, regardless of location or culture, being fat is like a curse. It no longer is an indication of good health but more of symptoms of pending hypertension, impending sarcasm hidden behind each acquaintance's smile whenever you meet in the hallway, or just plain pain in executing rigorous physical activities called walking and stretching. I may not be that fat yet, at least when pitted against the general colloquialism on how most of us perceive who's fat and who's not, but I feel that burn everyday whenever I meet somebody from not so distant past, say 2 weeks, and the first thing they'll tell you is " taba natin ah", "lumalaki tayo", or the polite mockery "hiyang tayo ah".


I am optimistic by nature and I'm not ranting about being fat because in the first place, I ballooned to what I am today simply because of lack of exercise ( you don't get too sweat that much anymore when your only exercise is during the cold evenings with your wife :) ) , poor eating habits (no we're not that poor, but I eat like I haven't for days!), or simply genetics (90% from my mother's clan have an average weight of about 180 lbs, but that sad's part they're more than 5'7" tall). Some say that it's easy to burn those calories away, but what most of us don’t know is that there's still nobody bright enough to put discipline and diet all in once capsule so that you can just get it off the drug store. If that would have been possible then life's little miseries will be gone in just a couple of tablets and water combined.


Being fat dopes have advantages though especially whenever I play basketball. You get an unwanted excuse not to come down on defense every time. No one can bully their way around you because it's you who's doing it now. Aside from that you always look as if you were in the court for an hour even if you just played 5-on-5 for 10 minutes.


I even tested the fitness gym market to no avail. No, I did not sign up for any of the brightest and popular fitness gyms not for the lack of money or anything but fear that I may not have enough time to spend for my family, or maybe just because I may not have that urgency to go there and sweat it out. You see, I used to be rail thin before because most of my time is spent in sports. Now that we have a family, sports is already something that you love to watch during cozy Sunday afternoons.


Nonetheless, the next time I blog about this, I'll make sure that I'll be telling about how to get fat! Because by that time, hopefully I'm back to my old body, the one I left about three years ago! So for all those fellow fat-natics, please help ourselves!

Starting my engines up

It's pretty easy to write something. What's difficult is the part of making that something a bit different than what others have wrote. That part is what sets it heads and shoulders above other bloggers' scribblets. It is with this idea that I decided to join Blogger. There are a couple of site s out there that offers pretty much the same service, but a lot of my friends, colleagues, and acquaintances nlog through this one so I said why not try it as well.

I've been writing for the past couple of years and yet astonishingly wonders why I'm at this site a bit late than expected. I promised not to write anything about myself but I guess that can't be avoided specially since I'll be sharing my views for most of the time. I welcome the idea that this could be a routine thing for me for the next couple of days, but it's something that should come easy for me.

To cap it off, thanks for whoever you are who took the time and effort to put forth a certain amount of attention and perseverance to visit my site and read through my views. Have a great day!