Leadership Hindsights

They say that leaders are born and not made, and I'm one of those egotistical pundits who bawled on this philosophy for the longest time one can imagine.  It was the same guiding principle that I pride myself to be a part of.  I never had the yearning to be on a supporting role, much less let others be ahead of me when I always have the mindset that I can do better. Furthermore, they say it's a calling; something of astounding significance that we can't let go of, until I became a people manager. It's probably the first time that you might have heard of it, and likely the only one you've read about from some widespread publication such as this blog. Nonetheless, it's a position whose ideals I'm trying to embrace while moving forward for the betterment of my teammates. 

It all started when I joined my current company and set forth on a journey I thought I could sail without windy hiccups. While I bask in the narcissism of my so-called achievements as an engineer, I took the leap to be part of something bigger, something called the management team.  It's a piece of cake was what I uttered.  After all, I'm someone who lacked the cork to stomp an overwhelming confidence.What was so simple for me turned out to be something even more complex.  Running the operations was not so easy after all, and friends you call teammates apparently have bigger expectations and a wider sense of perspective when you stop a bit and reflect.    As with most people, your instinct tells you to seek help and have somebody took the burden of making you learn everything in a snap.  After all, I am a leader, and I was born with the innate ability to come through when needed.

I was unprepared to say the least to meet the most exhilarating and excruciating 4 months of my professional career.  Computing for certain metrics coupled with analyzing a few reports all seemed fundamental, only for me to hit a smack on the face for everything I did was congruently wrong.  My self-confidence hit an all-time low that not even the Great Depression could surpass.  I came to a tipping point when I wanted to call it quits and for the first time wanted to believe in all the things a lot of naysayers have said all along, that she was different, stern and mean, and all other items probably inappropriate even for mature audiences.  

I wanted to join the bandwagon amidst all the uncertainties and irrevocable tension that marred our professional relationship.  But it's really funny how life teaches you the lessons never mentioned in the four corners of any school of thought. Of all people, I found solace in the words of my wife telling me that whatever she was doing was meant for something bigger.  I was too caught in the incidents that I never saw the bigger picture, never saw that all she wanted was to make me ready when the time is ripe, to make me succumb to the pressure so that I'll learn the value of preparation and effective execution, to make me feel worthless so that I'll learn the value of humility and patience, and most of all, to endure the pain of losing, so that I'll come out swinging when the time is right.


After a couple of months, and a bagful of experiences and learning sessions, I can say that I've improved.  The aura of being cocky and confident has mellowed yet reliably undeterred.  I've managed to use what my brain was built for, not to simply think, but to understand what lies beneath the surface, what stories lurks behind the numbers, and what difference fairness brings over pragmatic equality .  I met my new friends as well namely "consistency" and "being "proactive", while sharing a good blend of coffee with my old pals "optimism" and "self-esteem".

I by no means resemble a finish product.  I still have a lot to improve and learn.  The timing has never been right but to cast my gratitude in oblivion is something I'll resent for ages.  Namedropping is not what she would likely want me to give her as a gift, but I simply wanted to let everyone reading this one, how thankful I am for what she had shared with me.  She has endured a lot for the team and is mostly misunderstood for her actions, but little did they know that her intents was a stuff of legends.

To part with, thank you may not offer much, nor will it ever quantify what I've gained from working with her. I may never be what she had envisioned me to be when she first saw that potential.  But I would have not been the leader I am today if she didn't took the time to go out of her way... 

No Wrong Time to Say the Right Thing

by Steve Goodier

A cartoon depicts a woman shaking hands with her clergyman as she leaves the church. The caption says, "Thank you for the sermon. It was like water to a drowning man." Some compliments are better left unsaid....
Isn't it true that words carry with them immense power? Power to build up and power to tear down. Such was the case with the words of Maude, a woman who learned that there is no wrong time to say the right thing.
It was a cold, rainy day in March. Across the room in the millinery department of the store where Maude worked, sat Laura, a woman about Maude's age. Other workers did not like Laura; they thought her to be snobbish and aloof. And Maude agreed.
But sweeping the bias from her eyes, she made up her mind to say something kind to Laura. Finally, she managed, "Do you know, Laura, that I've worked in this room with you for several years. And whenever I glance up I see your head silhouetted against the window there behind you. I think you have the prettiest profile and hair that I have ever seen on anybody." Her words were not insincere flattery. She meant it.
Laura looked up and began to cry. "That's the first kind word anybody has ever said to me in all the years I've worked here," she said.
Maude discovered that Laura's aloofness was not due to snobbishness, but shyness. The two became friends. Other workers soon began to include Laura in their activities, and she blossomed like a flower that, for the first time, found sunlight. The right words, spoken in kindness, changed a life.
Never underestimate the power of your words. There is no wrong time to say the right thing. And there is no better time than now.

GK Student Trip 2009: Lasting Imprints of Life's Lessons

June 28, 2009, a pretty typical Sunday for me at all cost. Humid weather, cozy sounds of the 50's, 60's and 70's, heck I can even hear Engelbert Humperdinck's "Lonely Table Just for One" resonate through my ears one last time before I boarded off the cab that I was in. I was so engrossed in the monotony of the afternoon that I was basically clueless to what Gawad Kalinga, or GK was all about. Yes, it's about building houses, and indeed it's just plain charity work for me, or a mere week-long escape from the fangs of my technical cases at work.

At the student's welcome lunch buffet at Max's, I was astounded by the speech given by Mr. Tony Meloto, founder and head of GK. He spoke as if poverty was not a mere curse millions of Filipinos are trying to get off with. I usually am not one who easily gets swayed by speakers who mastered the art of conveying sweet nothings into a whole grain of salt so to speak, but what he said that day left an imprint on me. I became an instant fan of the man, and an advocate of his beliefs and works, but not for GK...at least not yet.

We arrived at the site (GK TELUS, Pook Masagana) together with 25 Taiwanese students sponsored by our company Trend Micro. I was enamored with the surroundings. One can easily distinguish what has been, what it is now, and what the other houses will be once everything is laid out. I never imagined that if people will have the political and moral will to implement changes, anything, even those seemingly impossible ones, can be done. I marvel at how the "Kapitbahayan" worked, much less how they bond as one family, and how eager they are to welcome us, despite the oblivious confusion that they seem to be in; after all, this is their first time to host a delegation as many as we are, not to add the fact that most of us will be fully immersed into their lives for the entire week.

Physical work was not a new thing for me. I've been through house building a couple of times but never before had I enjoyed carrying bricks, shoveling sand, digging excavations, and painting steel rail posts as much as I did for the entire week. Our friends from Taiwan were exceptionally strong, specially the women, who despite their fragile frame displayed agility and strength one can typically see from men if not from athletes. Doing this blue-collar work made me realize that I am lucky not to be doing this kinds of stuff, at least not everyday, and most of all, as my sole source of income. I learned that ranting about how hard life is for us is not right, for there are countless people who suffer an even sadder fate than what most of us probably have been and will be into.

Being with the village people created an instant bond between the students and their foster families. This explains why the day when they had to leave to go to the other site was a tear jerker for most if not all of the people in the site. It's hard not to be glued to each other, for you share almost everything, even just for a couple of days. It showed me the human spirit and the indomitable Filipino hospitality at its finest. It further stressed the cliche' that life is indeed so short that you better make the most out of it before time runs out.

As the tickling sound of my cell phone's alarm came into a halt, I was flat out on my back wondering how fast the days have been spent without me even thinking and merely wishing the week finally comes into an end, as we often do whenever we get stressed out at work. I am proud to say that I did not cry as I was leaving the site. It's not because I was not moved by the moment or of what had transpired during my entire week stay in there. In fact, I had to hold back the tears a couple of times but I guess I was more than convinced that a smile would be better off as my lasting image for my dear friends in there rather than those unconventional tears.

Indeed, life is full of trickery and mystery. You'll never know what's the value of something until someone or something makes your realize it. Poverty is indeed a big problem, and it doesn't take a blink of an eye to change everything However, accepting it as a problem is not the right way to deal with it for as they say it in GK, "alleviation is not the answer but eradication"

Being content and thankful with what you have is not an aberration from pursuing higher goals and reaching loftier heights in one's career or family life. It's just the one of the better perspectives we can have, for not everyone is blessed with what we have. Lastly, as head back home, the enticing music of the Beatles rocked me. "Get back, get back, get back to where you once belong..", and I will surely be back, for being able to help other people is always heart-warming and uplifting, but the experience and the learning shouldn't end here, for there's a lot of lessons to uncover, a lot more lives to change, and a bounty of goodness to share.

Giving Up or Not Backing Down, When and Which

One uneventful Monday morning, I was greeted with some news that would definitely not make our nations headlines but somehow struck me with a pint of inexplicable sadness. It’s not everyday that you get to meet people you learn to trust and bond with, and learning about their not so accepted departure is but sudden and as Shakespeare put it "parting is such sweet sorrow".

Putting in my optimistic perspective is a must for these kinds of occasions, yet oftentimes in our life, we are dazed with the choices we have to make such as whether to give up to the challenges of everyday living, or to continue pressing your foot on the pedal and pursue the eventual happiness and contentment we so longed to have. The decision-making part is the tricky one as only history will be the judge as to whether the choices you made eventually made you a better person or more of a morbid loser.

I'm not one who gives up easily as I'm a strong advocate of keeping your head on the fight as long as you can. Challenges builds up character, character your confidence, and confidence your self-esteem and overall perspective in life. On big thing though that I learned that day is that sometimes, you also need to know what you're just capable of at the moment, and despite vehemently denying and begging to disagree on this premise, to a certain extent it is but factual and even more logical if you put in the inexplicable problems we normally tag along. Others may say that problems are but normal, it's just like the air we breathe, without it, and we became weak. On the other side of the coin, we may need to fail and give up to learn the valuable lessons on how to overcome it the next time it happens, after all what goes around comes around.

Nonetheless, I just hope that whatever decisions we make, we made it because we're at peace with it and that we're happy with it. Pleasing other people is a cardinal sin for life-altering decisions. It should not be the feather that tips the scales to their favor. Instead, it should be whatever that makes you happy and content that should prevail. To part with, we may never want others to leave because we've grown so accustomed to their presence, but keeping them when they want to let go is just being plain selfish. We never want them to give up, but at the end of the day, they will be the ones who have the choices to make. After all, it's not about giving up or never backing down, it's what you do after it that matters...